Tuesday, November 27, 2012

A Thousand Things | No Poster Girl

I spent more than a year like this, from Christmas of 2007 to the spring of 2009, and there are many, many ME/CFS patients in that state. These days, I do more things before breakfast than I was able to do in a week back then, and basically each of them are things I was completely unable to do then at all.
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BTDT.  I've spent a lot of years in bed, unable to do much more than breathe.
The person I am now in 2012 is definitely not the person I was in 1982, when I was perfectly healthy, nor the person I was in 2002, when I was on the verge of death from medical neglect.  The people who saw me in those years would never recognize the person I am this year.
I'm doing a lot more than I was in 2002, but it's still not what a healthy person can do in a day.  Nonetheless, I'm no longer counting the energy expenditure of every minimal movement.  Walking to the front door to bring in the newspaper does not require a two-hour nap before I can muster the mental energy to read the paper.
Those who criticize my housekeeping don't understand that cleaning up after the cleaners is what landed me in bed in the first place.  I finally realized that muddling through on my own -- where I'm not wasting energy looking for things that were hidden in unmarked boxes -- is more efficient, and a heckuva lot cheaper than spending $600 a month on cleaners who don't actually clean, plus whatever incidental costs for things like late fees on bills they threw away before I paid them or checks that I couldn't cash because I couldn't find them. 

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