Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Disability and Equanimity Need Not Be Mutually Exclusive
Another good one by Toni Bernhard!
"Don't confuse the calm acceptance of equanimity with resignation or indifference. The latter two are characterized by aversion to the way things are; then we feel stuck and unable to act. By contrast, equanimity is characterized by that "evenness of temper" from the dictionary definition—an open acceptance that's not a deterrent to action."
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I'm often scolded by amateur psychologists for being "depressed" when, in fact, I'm just being honest about the way things are. They project onto me their own feelings, how they think they'd react if they had to carry the burden I do.
On the subject of depression: When I say "I can't", I mean I CAN'T. Not that I don't want to, not that I'm afraid to try, but physically can not. Before assuming why I say I can't, ask why I think that way. I'll explain it to you, that I tried to do it last week and failed. That I got so frustrated trying that I wound up in tears. That I pushed myself to do it and wound up in bed for a week.
I've had phases where the brain fog was so bad the morning newspaper looked like it was in Chinese. So when I say "I can't read", please don't cajole me to "make time for the things that are important to you" -- accept that I mean that I'm staring at something and it's making no sense.