Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Truth About Penguins (and CFS research)

The Truth About Penguins
By Peter Kemp

I wanted to study the nature of penguins.

The 'Canadian' definition of penguins is that they are:
• Flightless
• They can swim
• Largest species up to 1.2 metres tall
• They eat mostly fish
• They lay 1 or 2 eggs
• They generally live in colonies

The 'CDC' definition of these birds is that they are:
• Flightless
• They sometimes eat fish
• They lay eggs
• They can swim

The 'Oxford' definition is that these birds are:
• Flightless
• They lay eggs

The 'Oxford' criteria was chosen for the research as the others were too difficult to apply. 100 subjects who met the research criteria were studied in Sub-Saharan Africa.

The research found that penguins:
• Live in deserts
• Cannot swim
• Are up to 2.4 metres tall
• Weigh 200 pounds
• Capable of speeds up to 40 mph on land
• Are mostly vegetarian

Conclusion:

The research has discovered the truth about penguins. Those funny black and white birds waddling on the ice and swimming in the sea are making fools of everyone. They are not real penguins and should be excluded from all further research into penguins.
  





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